Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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