Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
