Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
