we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize