brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
