Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
