Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
