He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
