32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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