yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
