She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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