Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
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The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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