just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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