Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"