i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.