This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night