she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
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I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
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His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together