I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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