i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
