Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Randomize
