I smell stomach acid.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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