Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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