Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
