just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
