yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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