I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
