chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
