It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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