Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
