also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm too high and old for this...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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