Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
True college students do jello shots in the library
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
