And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize