hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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