i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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