Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
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