So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
