Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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