is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
