I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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