i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
