hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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