Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
