i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
