Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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