honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
