god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
