Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
