I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize