you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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