I must be too annoying 4 u.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
