break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize