ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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