Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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