You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
