I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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