Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
