I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
