in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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