If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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