i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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