Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
