you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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