Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
