He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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