Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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