I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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